Speaking out My Unheard Thoughts...

On Two Wheels, Anyone?

2011-11-01T16:23:00.002+09:00

To own a car and to whiz around town in it is a common scene in our country. Fresh out from the driving school with a valid driver’s license in hand, one could easily own a car within a short period of time. Economically viable—in terms of petrol cost and cheap locally-made cars—this advantage has been sorely taken for granted by Malaysians. As a comparison to a developed country like Japan, having a car involves a huge investment, particularly for those residing in Tokyo. Other than the challenging task of earning a driving license (some 7 to 8 times driving test attempts and yet to pass), one has to buy a parking bay. If the parking bay is not attached to one’s house or apartment, one would have to lease it separately. I spent two years or so living in Kodaira, a suburb not too far away outside Tokyo. In Kodaira, the price of a parking lot can range from ¥8,000 to ¥15,000 (RM280 to RM525) per month! Not to mention the high cost of other necessities such as car maintenance, insurance and road tax fees and fluctuating petrol price (not subsidised).

As an alternative, public transportation is provided and it is extremely reliable. The trains and buses arrive exactly as scheduled. Delays do occur at times but at minimal. As such, should one need to commute occasionally or even daily, public transportation proves not a hassle. Air pollution is also minimised when more people travel by public transport. To encourage its usage, subsidy is provided as an incentive to train and bus passengers. Further discounts could be enjoyed if one is a student. Monthly, quarterly, and yearly travel passes allow commuters to save more when travelling around the city.

However, not everyone lives strategically near a train station. Yes, shuttle bus routes do connect from one’s home to the train station; but in some areas, the bus service may stop as early as 7.00pm. To overcome this inconvenience, one can either walk or ride a bicycle. Cycling in Japan: This is the story that I wish to share.

I often wonder how Japan can successfully encourage its citizens to cycle; neither as a sport nor hobby, but as a mean of transportation. Not only young children, teenagers and adults, senior folks are also seen on bicycles. Not only the poor ride, office executives also cycle in their suits and high heels. Some may argue that when one cycle, one is not expected to travel a distance; hence, a common issue. What is the obsession with bicycles in Japan then, one may ponder. For one to travel from home to a bus or train station, cycling is a good solution. If one’s house is a 10-minute walk from the bus or train station, no shuttle bus service will be provided as it is deemed too near. On a bicycle, a 10-minute walk (which is approximately 0.5 km in distance) can be journeyed in less than half the time; a quicker and a more cost-effective choice.

There are many ways in which the Japanese municipality has engaged in to encourage and support cyclists, which can be categorised into four sections: the quality of a bicycle, regulations, facilities, and accessories available.

Quality of a Bicycle

When I first arrived in Japan, the most expensive possession I invested in was a bicycle. I was taken aback that a common, unfashionable bicycle had cost me ¥20,000 (RM700). The price can go steeper depending on types and categories of bicycle. After two years of usage, my faithful travelling companion had never once has its chain displaced. Thankfully, the tyre tubes had never punctured and I had certainly not experienced any broken parts or lost of screws. The bicycle also required very minimum maintenance. As far as I can remember, I only pumped air into the tyres from time to time. This goes to show that even a low-priced bicycle in Japan is of a very high quality. This is certainly remarkably different from the many types of bicycle that we Malaysians know of.

Regulations

As with any vehicle, there is the possibility of theft. To mitigate this problem, a bicycle in Japan is to be registered upon its purchase. The owner would have to sign a document to register his or her bicycle with the local authority, which would thereafter legalise the owner’s possession of the bicycle. On the bicycle, a small yellow sticker bearing its registration number will be pasted on. Law enforcers carry out spot checks periodically on bicycle registration stickers. In the event of any doubt or suspicion, one would have to produce the bicycle’s registration document as an evidence of possession. One may also receive a traffic summon should one not park the bicycle properly. This practice amused me to no end when I first witnessed a policeman writing a summon ticket for a bicycle. With these regulations in place, cyclists would feel safe possessing a bicycle.If one’s bicycle is found parked at an inappropriate spot, one may risk losing the bicycle as the local authority has the right to take it away. There is a procedure to repossess the bicycle, one may have to pay small fee or the summon ticket. In cases of no takers, unclaimed bicycles would be sold at a second hand market cheaply.

Facilities

As mentioned earlier, cycling is a viable solution to commute from one’s house to the train or bus station if the distance is not covered by a shuttle service. For that, a facility is provided for cyclists. Almost all train stations have designated parking lots for bicycles. Particularly in a costly city to live in such as Tokyo where the land price is sky-high, for sure these parking spots come with a fee. For regulars, a monthly or quarterly parking rent can be subscribed. An additional small sticker will be affixed on the bicycle as a registration indicator for the parking lot.

I had two bicycles during my stay in Japan. To travel from my home in Kodaira to Waseda University, I would have to take a train from Kodaira station to Takadanobaba station. One bicycle was used to commute from my residence to Kodaira station. I would park my first bicycle there, and continued my journey by train to Takadanobaba station. At Takadanobaba station, I have another bicycle which I parked there to travel from Takadanobaba station to Waseda University. I had to pay for two parking fees for my bicycles at these two stations. Yes, I would certainly incur less cost should I had chosen to travel by bus; and even more money could have been saved if I were to walk. Yet whilst cycling, I got to enjoy fresh breeze upon my face and a sense of liberation that cannot be attain through a stroll, a train or bus ride. I never thought that I would cycle regularly again at an age surpassing the 30s. In Japan however, it seemed a necessary and a wise thing to do. This was one of the reasons why I seldom wore baju kurung to the university. One can imagine how uncomfortable it would have been to cycle in it.

Whilst on the road, cyclists also enjoy privileges over other road users, mainly because they are using a non air-polluting vehicle. Most roads have sectioned bicycle lanes to ensure the safety of cyclists. These designated lanes also ease traffic flow as other road users would not be slowed down by weaving cyclists.

Accessories

It is easy to be a cyclist when the relevant accessories are readily available. Cycling accessories include helmets (mandatory for small children), baby front or back carriers, raincoats, umbrellas, rain boots and covers. A basket or cart could be easily attached to a bicycle which is convenient and large enough for grocery shopping at a local supermarket. Covers for the attached basket, seat, and handles are available cheaply at ¥100 (RM5) shops. Inconveniences that may be experienced during rainy, windy or sunny days are reduced with these innovative products.

When one of my Japanese neighbours who would be on a job transfer to Malaysia asked for my advice, I told her to drop the notion of cycling completely off her mind. I confidently said that she would not need a bicycle in Malaysia. Other than the fact that it is extremely hot to cycle under the equator sun, it is simply not safe to cycle. At that time, she could not fully comprehend what I was trying to say, but I am certain she would understand it now when she sees the different traffic scenarios in Malaysia.

I hope we can take this piece of bicycle story as a blueprint lesson. To encourage a new commuting culture is not as simple as launching faculty campaigns and rendering its penned songs. If, for example, we are to create a cycling culture in our future Bachok Campus, it has to be realistic. Encouragement should always be accompanied by assisting factors to support the shift in behaviour and practice. The alternative, in this instance cycling, must come with good infrastructure and convenience of related matters. Should it fail, then only can the fault fall on—attitude.

Published in Koran Entrepreneurship, Vol. 3, Issue 1; Jan-Apr 2011

Perfectionist

2011-07-05T15:03:00.001+09:00

I never was a perfectionist. I am far far far from perfect. When I said that, someone would say that it is a proof! Off late, I am getting comments that I am one. Am I really? I googled around to test whether I am a perfectionist or not. The most worrying part is that I just learned from a tv programme that being a perfectionist is bad?? Oh no...!

From wikipedia, I found some definitions:

Perfectionism, in psychology, is a belief that perfection can and should be attained. In its pathological form, perfectionism is a belief that work or output that is anything less than perfect is unacceptable. At such levels, this is considered an unhealthy belief, and psychologists typically refer to such individuals as maladaptive perfectionists.

Hamachek describes two types of perfectionism. Normal perfectionists "derive a very real sense of pleasure from the labours of a painstaking effort" while neurotic perfectionists are "unable to feel satisfaction because in their own eyes they never seem to do things [well] enough to warrant that feeling of satisfaction". Burns defines perfectionists as "people who strain compulsively and unremittingly toward impossible goals and who measure their own worth entirely in terms of productivity and accomplishment".^[1]

Greenspon considers perfectionism to be unitary combination of a desire to be perfect, a fear of imperfection, and an emotional conviction that perfection (not “near-perfection”) is the only route to personal acceptance by others. Perfectionism itself is thus never seen as healthy or adaptive. ^[2]

I may have some of those characteristics, but how would I know if it is still healthy or not? Hmmm..

Bad Mother

2011-07-02T02:17:00.001+09:00

What do you do when sometimes you feel like you are such a bad mother? You feel that you may raise your children wrong? Or your children deserve better than what they are having?

Children is reflection of parents. Right now, I do not like what I see. Uh-uh...

The Art of Waiting

2010-12-18T17:28:00.005+09:00

Being punctual is a habit or culture that is really difficult to nurture in one's life or society in some part of the world. Even a country like Japan that is known as a country that is very punctual and does job according to time schedule, people in Okinawa, the most southern part of the country, cannot adjust to this culture. Some say that in Okinawa they still use the term "around 2 o'clock" means that it is OK if you be there at 3 o'clock. Or you can find trains or buses which are delayed from their schedule. A contrast from the rest of Japan.

What more if you talk about a country like Malaysia, which is so much famous with "Janji Melayu" term, which basically means you do not have to be punctual in any occasions. I do not know how and where that term had started. As a Malay myself, I cannot be mad or in denial if someone says that term because the evidence to support it is true are everywhere, anywhere and at any time.

Since I was in school back in more than 10 years ago, teachers were educating and campaigning about being punctual. Lucky me, I was in a school band. We will be punished eventhough we are 5 minutes late! So it has become a habit in most of us bandgirls to come at least 5 minutes earlier. But in general we usually gathered much earlier say 20 to 30 minutes earlier to avoid any possibilities of being late. If you are a junior, it is still OK if you were punished. But if you are a senior, a section leader or a drum majorette, you will lose face if you are late and punished in front of your juniors. However, when we dispersed into colleges and work places, that good habit tends to diminish with time and we sort of adapted with the culture surrounding us. What a shame!

More often than not, when we try to be punctual, others will not. If it says an event should start at 8 am, usually the actual starting time is 8.30 or 9 am. I was shocked last time when the invitation to an event is 9 am, but when I came at 8.30am, the hall was empty! It was empty until 9 am!! When I asked the event organiser, what happened, the answer was even more shocking. It actually should start at 10 am. The time in invitation has to be 1.5 hours early because nobody will come on time! Oh Allah, what happen??? I was half mad, confused, felt cheated, you name it. I feel like a fool to be there. It seemed like I was 1.5 hour early whereas I just try to be there ON time. That was sad. Everyone has to be accommodative to the bad habit.

Be realistic. Who are we to change the society. It is so hard to change ourselves, what more to change others. So forget of what can you do the change the world. But what we should do is actually to change our ownself. If we are lucky, we can try to change people under our supervisions, be them our children, our subordinates or our students. Change your watch to 10 or 30 minutes earlier, wont work. I have done that, and it just like fooling myself and the bad habit only grows instead of stops.

What I would suggest us to do, is just to be punctual. Be at least 5 minutes earlier, if not on time. Do not feel frustrated if others do not do the same. Never slip or feel it is OK to be few minutes late. It will just slowly inculcate the bad habit into ourselves. Plan carefully so that we can reach or be the meeting point 20 minutes earlier. Make some notes of occasions when we succeed to be on time or punctual and give yourself some mark to your effort.

The other thing that we should learn in order to maintain be punctual habit is The Art of Waiting. Since we cannot expect others to be punctual as well, always bring notes, any reading materials, laptop or iPhone along. So if you happen to wait for the other party when you are on time, at least you can fill your time while waiting with reading novels, check your emails, etc. By doing that, you will feel less annoyed, do not waste your precious time and at the same time can maintain this good habit. Indirectly, you are also educating the other party to be punctual. Or you may be known to be punctual so that in future meetings, others will respect time agreed. Your waiting time may also gradually decrease when others start to understand your culture.

If this can be practised by our family and those under our supervisions, I believe we can change the world, so that when we mention "Janji Melayu" in future, it would mean ON TIME.

I urge everybody to learn and practise The Art of Waiting, and see the difference.
Best of luck! :)

Change

2010-11-05T17:51:00.002+09:00

The hardest thing to do is to change others. The first thing you have to do is to change yourself. Then only, the world will start to change. Hmmm...

Learn to be patient. Learn to listen. Learn to see. Learn to say only worthy words. Uhuk!

New Career, New Me..

2010-10-18T18:49:00.005+09:00

Yes, I am starting a new career. From an officer in a corporate world to an academician in a university. From a (semi) private company to a government. From a metropolitan be it in Kuala Lumpur or Tokyo, to an Islamic City in Malaysia.

So many things I have to adapt to. It is not that easy actually. Remembering our discussions in Zemi when I was doing my MBA in Waseda, we talked about challenges as a global person serving a global company. It is never easy. Nobody is correct. You have to adapt and adjust to your surrounding. The weather, the culture, the language, the food, the clothes, the lifestyle and so on.

Recently also, I have been asked some similar questions such as am I not regretting my career change, or am I going to stay serving the government and in teaching field, or am I going to switch back to corporate world.

I have no answers to those questions as all are written by Allah SWT, The Almighty. But what I can say at the moment, I am so much intrigued and excited to face these new challenges. Such big responsibilities await me. I have to research, I have to teach, I have to write and publish papers. I should give some consultations too... Things I never thought I would be doing.

InsyaAllah I will try my best to do all those expected out of me. Anyway, I must return something and contribute somehow to the society. I hope the path will help me to do so.

To all, please pray for my success, for my future.

I Miss You!

2010-10-03T14:58:00.005+09:00

Dear Blog.
I don't realised how long I had abandoned you. It was months ago that I last wrote something here. I started to forget that it was me who wrote those entries here. Sounds like someone else's already.

Dear Blog,
Please understand that my life has became more and more hectic now. I am not only busy with studies but I have added another family member last 3 months. She is so beautiful and easy to take care. However, I have to give her more attention because she is still very dependent. I have also moved from a foreign land to home country. My status changed from a student to a teacher (to be). So many things to settle down and adapt to... till your elder sister blog is also getting lesser and lesser attention.

Dear Blog,
Please don't be mad at me because Facebook used to take up my time with you. It has became my addiction for some time now. I hope I can reduce some more time there so that we can chat more.

Dear Blog,
Actually I really MISS YOU!!

No Reply?

2010-01-15T17:07:00.003+09:00

How many of you when you email or write to inquire something and never get a reply? How many of us when you go for an interview and you never get any feedback after a month, or even a year? No thank you letter for participating or for your interest to come for the interview?

I have been always be in contact either with business corporations, institutions or government agencies. I can see a lot of differences between different agencies, either private or public. Some differences also can be observed from different countries and of course with different individuals.

Sad to say, this "no reply" attitude is very obviously demonstrated by public agencies or individuals from my home country. In contrary, in a country like Japan or UK, I would even receive a notification of email receipt from the other party and a promise to reply within specific time span, usually 3 to 5 working days. What a relief to receive such reply. That increases your confidence in that agency/institution as well.

Whereas, from my experience writing to public agency in my home country, it takes more than 2 weeks or even months to get any feedback. Most of the time, they just keep silence. So it takes so much cost, time and energy to rewrite for follow ups, call them or even worse, you have to come to their office and talk to them face to face. I was told by a friend that if I do not write formally through registered mail, they will not consider it seriously. If I want them to work extra fast for me, I need to cc the formal letter to their higher ranking superiors. What the @!$??? This is really a communication pollution and waste! Do they really know what is the function of an email? It should minimise time, cost and energy to deliver some messages and should be considered formal.

I wonder what factors contribute to the glaring big gaps between the practices among countries or agencies. Is it their work process? IT facilities? Customer satisfaction awareness? Ethics? Working culture? I do not know. Maybe I have to conduct a real research to answer this question.

However, from the simplest commonest sense, it shows you respect the person who emailed you by replying something to them. Eventhough the email may wrongly sent to you, you could tell that it was wrong person. Is everyone in public agencies now too busy and have no time to respect others anymore? Or do they need specific KPI for responding such correspondence? Ahhh.. Maybe I think too much.

Anyway, I guess for us to jump a big leap to a developed country status as in our Vision 2020, we need to change this "no reply" attitude. Enough is enough to be proud of the authority given to you and misuse it. We are all dependent of each other hence, respecting each other is the least we can do smooth out the communication. This very basic thing should be emphasized first as we can save a lot of things through this simple change.

I also wish that I will not be slipping into this category of attitude. Nauzubillah.

Wise and Old

2009-10-01T16:30:00.012+09:00

Naturally when we get old, there must be some skills in some area or field that we are expert on. Some plan to be one, some just follow their fate. I look around and see some examples. My grandmother is an expert in cooking and making nice package for wedding presents for bride to groom and vice versa. My late grandfather was an expert in many areas including gardening, defensive driving, investigating, PR and many more. My father is an expert in paperwork and accounting. My mother is an expert facial treatment and giving psychological therapy while my mother in law is an expert in body massage, business and many others. What about me?

I have been changing 3 jobs in the span of 7 years. Some say I have problems. But I said I just need to find what really suits me. The latest I quit my job, continue studying because I think I do this best, in a country that I dreamed of for so long and now pursuing another new ambition. Am I crazy? Will I be an expert and wise in my old age (if I live long enough)?

I used to ignore an advice from a wise old man. He told me that I should stick to a job and be expert in it. But stubborn me, I countered him and said that I would like to try many things. Have my hands on many things and see variety of different things. I wanted to taste many flavours. He added, then I would be an expert of nothing. He told me that he had been doing the same job for many many years and did not get bored. Ohhh.. Was I wrong for not taking his advice?

Now, looking back and thinking ahead, what has been done cannot be changed. But I guess every single thing that we are doing NOW matters a lot in contributing to what an expert we would be in our old days. I hope I could find some skills in the right field and contribute my expertise to the society one day. I mean REALLY contribute. Anyway, we are here in this world surely not without a purpose, right?

When you see an expert, they must have been working very hard to get there. There is no shortcut to be an expert other than doing a lot of the same things, in many different situations, read, research, exchange knowledge and improve with time.

So, do you see yourself as an expert in something, within some field? Let's think about it and FOCUS!

Housewife, anyone?

2009-08-29T14:31:00.008+09:00

Ever since I came to Japan, I slowly accepted the idea of being a housewife after getting married or having a child. This scenario is very common in this developed country although women continue working after gave birth is increasing. Coming from a country where education is seen very important in order to get a good job, it shocked me that those Japanese women who resorted to being a housewife are very educated, even up to degree or master degree level. They are up-to-date and do not feel any inferior compared to working women. If they have extra time when their kids are at school, they can always have chit chat in a cafe with other housewives or work part time. Most of them are internet literate, read books and very professional in raising their own kids and managing their own house. I hardly hear any of the mothers raise their voice to their kids, what more to beat them. Most of them can cook, sew and do other house chores naturally and they seem very happy. Furthermore, they are respected as the same as other working women.

Shifting perspectives to my home country, Malaysia, this is rather peculiar. Once a woman is educated, they are expected to be a career woman. Earn their own income. Have some indpendence and should have enough to help their parents and siblings who are still schooling. Their parents would cry blood if their educated daughters quit their jobs and being fully dependent on the husband. Every cent the parents invested in the daughter's education would be seen wasted if their daughter decided to be a housewife. If the husband is encouraging his educated wife to be a housewife, the husband may be accused as ruining their daughter's bright future. A housewife is still a housewife. You will be downgraded to a lower social rank, unless you are a wife of a CEO or someone like that. Is this a correct thinking that we should hold on to?

When I was working, many of us working women complained about how things are. They are stressed at work, working till late and yet have to manage house, kids and husband too. Even both husband and wife are working, the wife is still the queen of the house. The house chores should be wife's responsibility. The husband will help if they like. Some are lucky or unlucky to have a maid. If that is the case, they have to deal with maid's problems as well. Some maids could even bring more problems than solving them... from abusing your children, stealing your stuff and up to stealing your own husband. Same goes to kids. Mothers are still expected to take care of their children's well being and education. Fathers decide and get to know the results. Sometimes it is just too demanding to divide a weak female into too many major roles. But what choice do we have? Most households cannot be supported by husband's single income.

Though we women complain about this, when given a choice whether to continue working or being a housewife (provided the husband is able) , many would choose to work. Why? It is too tiring to do the house chores 24/7. Some even do not have the skills to do so. They were busy studying and were sent to boarding school since they are 13. How do you expect them to know how to do house works? Working is such a good escape from being with the children all the time. Again, this is too stressful and exhausting. Therefore, by just giving birth and let the babysitter, grandmother or maid take care of their children is such a great solution. Seeing the children at night after coming back from work or during weekends is not that bad. All you know is that they have enough money to spend, you enroll them to as many classes as possible and you just check the end results. Simple, isn't it? So here we go, it is a no-no of being a housewife.

Apart from that, having to earn your own money, at least working women do not have to ask their husband's money to buy new clothes or things they like. Some fortunate ones, there is no problem there. The husband will provide anyway. But most of the time, this is not the case. You have to beg or even save your own money to buy stuff for yourself. Who would want to let go such freedom? Why do you want to be at home, sweating and stinky doing house chores when you can go to work in an air-conditioned office, wearing smart attires everyday. Again, less attractive to be a housewife.

At work, more and more women could climb the corporate ladder. This is never the case in Japan, believe it or not? It has always men to be holding top positions. So women in our country are much luckier. But are we really lucky? Imagine this. You are one of the upper management people. To be there, you must have sacrificed so much especially your time with your children, husband, family and even friends. You win greatly in one part, you lose a lot more on the other side of life. Your children may have problems due to lack of attention, your husband may be seeing some other girl and the like. Some even have to suffer from illnesses due to hyper stress. Again, responsibility as a mother and a wife are expected to be no less. So are we really lucky then? When women have more chance to hold top positions, more men will have to settle with lower level in an organisation. As a result, man could not earn or provide as much to the family and situation forces the wife to work too, sacrificing more on the family value. Is there any way to correct this? Or is this wrong to begin with?

Being 100% dependent on husband is somehow scary to some women. Especially to those who have been working before, who have had freedom of earning their own income. Why is that? There is a fear that when the husband is already shifting their eyes to younger and more beautiful woman and need you no more, you have no where to go.(This is getting more common now). Fuh... what a dilemma! But to think of it, we should not think of it. If we think like that, more than 50% probability it will be like that. Are you with me? Your life is how you see your life. What we should think is how to give your best as a mother, as a wife. If things really happen, then it is a challenge for you, written by Allah to test how strong you can be. After all, if you are educated, it should be no problem to start a career at any point of your life.

So, housewife, anyone?

I always have considerable degree of respects for a housewife. To me, they are very very lucky and tough women. But, having written this, I will still think twice to be a housewife... Uh-oh.. :p

Life is like a Wheel...

2009-08-07T19:06:00.007+09:00

Life is like a wheel. Sometimes we are at the top, sometimes at the bottom. This is very true and the wheel spins so speedily...

I remember those days when I was single and earned quite handsome income for a solo person. Basically I spent on things that I want, following my heart and desire, rather than what I really need. Advices from others were not that important to me that time. And I found that I could buy almost anything I wantedh, but never really enjoyed them. Also, I always feel it is never enough and I want more.. A friend told me that it is related with BARAKAH. If it is barakah, it will always be enough, InsyaAllah. Looking back, I can't agree more.

Now, I cannot say that I am financially great, but stable. I am supporting my living expenses with my scholarship, more than enough for a single person to pay their own flight tickets home one or twice a year and yet having good eating out mostly everyday. But that is not the case for me.

I have to share it with another 3 mouths, namely my husband and my two angels. It surprised many people how did we survive, but we did so far. We are not even on credit card. Of course my husband contributed as much as he could. But not being proficient in Japanese, makes it hard for him to get a stable fixed income monthly. I see him worked harder than anyone else I know, trying to exhaust his own talent and capability doing business for foreigners market or anything that could turn into cash. I will be ungrateful to complain anything about him, considering his sacrifices so far. Ever willing to share ups and downs, cooks, cleans, and does some housework while I am at school and taking care of our children for about one year. Not all men are capable of doing so and I count every single of my blessing. Alhamdulillah.

Despite being financially barely enough... just enough to feed all of us, no savings, no vacations, no car, no luxurious stuff and the like, I feel happy. I feel filled. Why? Every single yen that we spent, we enjoyed it. Maybe we enjoy 120% the value of what we pay. Why is that? Maybe we only buy what we really need. And I hope it is due to BARAKAH too.

Comparing to what I may earn if I continue working instead, I am sure the salary is much more including bonus and all the benefits. However, the satisfaction I got for being able to spend much of my time with my family, doing what I like, study Japanese and practise as much as I want, get access to books and read as much as I could... this is much higher value than what I can describe. I should be ashamed to ask for more.

I am at the bottom of the wheel, financially, but feeling like on top of the world in term of happiness. Alhamdulillah... I do pray that I will be on top again financially, so that I have more to spend and save for my children and help my parents and the needy ones. Please pray for our brighter and financially healthier future. Amiiin.

What is Life?

2009-07-25T06:36:00.005+09:00

He is charming, creative and always open for suggestions. He is close to his students', clients' and employees' hearts. He is phylosophical and is searching for "What is Life?".

This is a description one of my Japanese professors. Very dear to my heart and ever sincere to share his knowledge. Discussion with him is always very deep. He has the ability to see a small topic from many angles and could discuss 10 different things out of it. Ohhh... I so much love it. We can talk for hours. And somehow I feel the chemistry. I know I can learn a lot from him.

Recently, in one of his deep talk, he told us, his students, that he is researching and searching for what is actually life is about. Everybody does the same thing. You are born, then you go to school, go to college, start working, getting married, having children, raise your children and the cycle starts again. And what is this all about??

This reminded me that in Islam, this is a long solved issue, if you are believers. I somehow pity for those who cannot see, but at least my professor has already start searching. Good for him! And I can't help feel responsible to show him the path. This is definitely not an easy task.

His question about life had made me reflected on things I have read for some time ago and also words of Allah in the Quran.

With his Kalam (which I forgot which Surah or Ayat), I understood Him saying as:
He is very fair to each and every one of his creation, namely man. No one will be punished for not believing Him unless he/she is given direction and shown evidence of His ONEness. After seeing the evidence and still they do not want to believe, then it will up to Him to judge the unbelievers.

This also means that, be it you a Muslim or not, but being His best creation, there will come a moment or moments that evidence is shown and directed to going back to Him.

In the book I read long time ago (I also forgot the author!), which I bought from a street seller, it says that it is a nature (fitrah) of a man to look for the path. To wonder who are they? What are they here for? Where is the start? Where is the end? What is the biggest and highest power of all? What is more than this life? They will always looking and never be at peace until they find the answers.

Being Muslims born and live in Malaysia, we always have wrong perceptions of whose religion is Islam? We always thought Islam is Malays'. This is so so wrong and should be changed. Though we are happy to know that some Indians and Chinese are mualafs, but still deep inside many of us think that Islam is Malays'.. at least in Malaysia context. That is why not many ever bothered to show our dear friends from other races of "the path". And we always thought that this is a job of Imams or Ustazs.

I can't help feeling insecure while writing this. Who am I to say these things. I am so much far from perfect. But somehow it becomes clearer and clearer at least to me that all Muslims has this responsibility. We have to show them the path. We are the agent. The khalifah. There will be moments that each one of us Muslim come across to someone who is searching and lost. Then that is the moment of truth. Moment of saying at least one sentence of where is the way to go. What is the path.

Born Muslim is the most blessed thing. MasyaAllah. Alhamdulillah. We are taught of at least Islamic practices (eventhough not many understood the meaning) and have chance to start practice since we are small. Imagine a mualaf (new convert) who has to start praying 5 times a day, fasting in Ramadhan and giving up pork and alcohol... at older age. It is certainly very hard for them. We are lucky because we cleared that by practising from small! Even some of Muslims may not practise fully, at least we know what is wrong and what is right. What is sinful and what is not. Where we are from and where we are going. This is a mystery to still many many hearts!!

A danger would be is that we Islam borns will take for granted of what is Islam itself. We do not search as hard as those who do not know from the beginning. We just pray because we are asked to. We fast because everyone does it too. We do not even notice of the priviledge, and what more to be thankful.

We are priviledged. And I believe, with those priviledges, come great responsibility: DAKWAH.

To my dear professor's question about life;
How would you say to him as a student who has far less knowledge than him? How would you show him the path when you are not a perfect example of a believer? How would you tell him in such a way that would not make him lose his interest and not being seen as preaching? Everyone is made for a reason, every thing not just happened unplanned. The Creator knows what is best. HE made my professor saying those in front of me so that I could take action. Actually to me, I MUST take action. I just don't know how.

Oh Dear Allah,
Show me the right thing to do. Guide me. Bless me. Make it easy for me and shove me far from being arrogance, from being ungrateful. Shove me from the wrong path after You showed me the right one.

Amin Ya Rabbal A'lamin.

Can't Write

2009-07-24T16:21:00.001+09:00

I have so many things to share, yet so little words to write. Erk!

Why Don't You Tell Me?

2009-05-30T06:29:00.008+09:00

Last week, I was told by a friend (non-Muslim) happily that she just quit smoking. She was so excited because finally she managed to totally stop from her habit or addiction. And I said: "What??? I never know that you are smoking! Why don't you tell me?" "Oh! I don't want to let you see (know)" was her answer. OKaayyy...

On another occasion, a Muslim friend, accidentally told me that she when clubbing. She was "caught" when another guy friend was talking about her going clubbing in front of me. And I saw her signalling the guy to not continue the topic as I was there.

What? Why don't you tell me?

Anyway, not that I really want to know whether you smoke or you go clubbing. It strikes me that just how do they perceive me until they would not want me to know about their (evil?) doings. I don't eat pork, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I wear scarf, I pray and I fast... that's true. The basic, I would say. Is that why you try to hide from me? Or do you think I am judging? Or do you think I would ask you stop when you are not ready? No.. No.. now I am not sure of what you think. Nor I am sure of what to feel about it...

One thing I am sure that, as a khalifah we should at least try to stop wrongdoings (munkar) and encourage good deeds (maruf).

As I think further (do I really should think about this, I don't know), I guess I am thankful, though without any speech, my presence has at least made it difficult for them to do munkars. Of course, I don't like pretenders or you just do not do it in front of me, but at least you try not to do it. Hahahaha. This sounds rather complicated.

I have came across some of these kind of people, for example my mother in law. She is so faithful with her amal that I would like to appear a saint in front of her. Of course because she is my mother in law too.. but her aura, that's it, not only me but others too seem to react the same... pretending we are good, or appear in our best attitude in front of her. When I have got to know that now my friends are doing that to me... I never believe that I became one!! And I am never close to my mother in law's standard, mind you!

Seriously, I do not know how to feel about this. As much as I wish that my friends will be true to me, I also pray always that they will become better and better person. I am no perfect too. Far from it. I just wish that they are being true, so that I know that they trust me and we could remind each other of our off-limit doings. Or maybe I should be a better friend? Erk!

Anyway friends... No matter how much you want to be true or not, good or bad in front of me... I love you all the same. As long as no backstabbing is happening here... Huhuhuhu...

More Failures? Not!!

2009-05-07T10:30:00.004+09:00

Entering the phase of early 30s, gives an opportunity to learn from some reasonable experience as well as planning for the future. Looking back, the number of successes and failures are almost the same or one may top the other marginally. The art of counting these successes and failures very much depends on the eyes of beholder. How small or how big a thing can be regarded a success, likewise its opposite. (This reminds me to finish a literature titled God of Small Things.. which I can never finish until now, since received it as a gift more than 5 years ago. Of course the book is already out of sight after moving to so many places; hence need to start from finding the book. Huhuhu). And also, how high is your level of perfection to categorize one as a success or failure?

As shared by Professor Aiba Koji, man of organizational strategy at Waseda University, people who worked for a long time has done many mistakes and came across many failures. They know better how the reality is when it comes to dealing with people. He also urged us to learn from others (case studies) as to minimize future mistakes or failures. I can't agree more as he made me remembering so many failures I encountered so far... in the process of maturing, for the sake of achieving or succeeding in other areas.

The most important thing about failure experience is do we learn from it? Or we just forget and repeat the same path without realizing? This is related to what was mentioned by Professor Sugiura Masakazu (Human Capital Management and Creativity) that we have to do things better than yesterday - exactly like Islamic teaching! Can we quickly rebound from it? Can we forgive ourselves and go for second, third try and so on? As differently told in Entrepreneurship class (Prof Higashide Hironori) and Corporate Ventures class (Prof Ohe Takeru) as opposed to Strategy class, we should be daring enough to fail in order to have an entrepreneur spirit, daring in implementing crazy ideas that could be a diffrentiated edge. And if you fail, you have to be able to quickly learnd and rebound from it. Tough isn't it? How strong is your heart to take so many failures especially on something only you believe and yet to be convinced to others. This is however too expensive to learn pragmatically at school, rather only taught in theory.

Learning either from experience, reading or talking with others, the risk of failure can be minimized with proper planning and preparation. There is a saying that No Success without Confidence. Yes, you have to have reasonable planning and preparation in order to have confidence. Talking about confidence, I have faced some challenges with no confidence, such as unprepared for a presentation or interview. The result was clear... I failed!

Of course, as a Muslim, one added weapon is we could zikir (constant prayer to remember Allah), Qiamulail (talking to Allah privately in two third of the night) and dedicate all you faiths and hopes to the Creator, none other than Allah. This really makes you stronger, especially when you believe it full heartedly. If you already dedicated all your hopes to Allah after you have done your preparation, whatever the outcomes you will accept it more openly as you know He knows what is best for you.

There will be situation when you are all prepared and yet have still little confidence due to it is your first time doing it. Prepare yourself with the worst situation, you just have to do it! It is because there is always a first time for everything which activates butterflies in your stomach. That is normal and if you focus, should be better with practice.

However, having some responsible now on my shoulders, I would not want to encounter too much failures, especially the ones I could avoid and know in advance I have little confidence in. Gambling is no more my game.

To quote my own experience, I went to an interview for promotion, just after giving birth to my first child. Still in confinement period, waking 3, 4 times a night to take care of my little angel, definitely not a good timing. However, I was encouraged by people around me to just do it. So I did it, without much confidence. And guess what? I flopped big time and hit me rather badly that I have little courage to redo it. Darn!! There goes all my esteem down the drain. Though I learned later that the success rate at corporate wide for this interview is very low (how not fair!!), still it is not a nice experience, is it?

Learning from that experience, I have decided to defer some ventures or even change my plan totally. Though my dream chart is huge enough, I would do it step by step, with more knowledge, preparation and not to forget networking as to increase my confidence level of success. Wish me luck and may Allah bless me, my family and my endeavors. Amin.

See it with Love...

2009-04-20T09:40:00.008+09:00

This morning, as hectic as a Monday morning could be, was no exception. My first class today has been shifted from first period 9am to second period 10.40am. Being kiasu (overly high spirited), or to fight Monday blues, I decided to still get up early and try to reach campus by 9am.

I have many administrative things to do, apart from going to school, bringing my brain to study. On the way to school, I have to send off my little Noriko to a nursery, one stop after our station. To send her first, meaning I have to get her ready too. Luckily, there are some left over dinner from last night, which I reheat for her bento (lunch box) today, and she also woke up quite early, around 6.30am. Other days, when she wakes up earlier than she should, I would feed her with my milk and she will go back to sleep. But today, her early rise was much appreciated as I did not have harden my heart to wake her from good sleep.

After feeding her breakfast, took her temperature and changed her clothes, we managed to get off from house before 8am. Yey! Yatta..

Taking her on a train ride for 10 minutes is actually a challenge. I carried my knapsack on my back, full of files and notes, stationeries, 2 bottles of water (to save money from buying when I got thirsty) and a file full of all my laminated certificates which I plan to photocopy at school. I guess, those weighed around 5kg or so. As I brought Noriko by bicycle from home to the train station, there is no way to bring her stroller too. This means, I have to carry her with my hands and she weighs around 11kg. So, that was roughly 16kg I have to carry from one station to another, and walking for about 5 minutes to Noriko's nursery.

Fortunately, when carrying Noriko, there is always something to do. We kissed and huggd each other a lot. She smiled a lot when seeing people around her, and this morning I counted 1 to 10 in Japanese with her in a playful manner to kill the time in the train. She appreciated it much, laughing and enjoying every moment. And I was doing this while carrying the 16kg of weight. And no kidding, it was the lightest 16kg in my life! Why was it light? Because I do it for love. I see it with love!

The moment I left her at the nursery and going to school on my own with my 5kg bag, then I felt how heavy was my bag! Funny isn't it? It was light when she was around. That was how love can do to your life. I now understand what it means by 'Love makes this world spins'. Such an amazing thing!

As remembering what I read in Dr Rozita Shaari's book, she also mentioned that life is what you perceived. If you want to see that your life as happy, then many happy things will occur and vice versa. I think she is absolutely right!

Being a Libran, I love harmonious life. At the same time, I also love freedom and own space for creativity to flow. However, being married with two small kids now, those are very scarce. With me trying to optimised limited resources most of the time, fights with my other half would always be our resort. I hate fights with my husband though we tend to do it all the time. I love harmonious conversations and healthy arguments rather. But when I see it with love, one thing I understand is that, we will not fight if we do not care for each other anymore. So fight is a good thing! Next time when we fight, I will try to enjoy it and of course to laugh at it after that. :)

Life is indeed very beautiful if you see it with love....

Zemi

2009-04-18T01:01:00.002+09:00

Zemi is a short form of seminar in Japanese. For masters students, in supporting our thesis writing, we have to attend zemi once a week to meet our advisor together with other students under his supervision. How to conduct or manage a zemi, there are no hard and fast rules. Commonly, concepts and theory will be delivered and discussed, as well as research methods and the thesis itself.

It is a famous zemi feature to do activities and travel together. We study and establish bonds among us. The bond created and built among zemi members is somehow very special, and this relationship and network should prolong as long as we live! This zemi concept is really a new thing for me.

For Professor Sugiura Zemi, we are the first batch. According to him, the members will grow and network expands with additional kohais (juniors) each year. It is a very wonderful thing! 10 years down the road, we may be meeting our kohai in some part of the world, and because of Zemi bond, we will care for each other deeper!

I learn something new about Japan's unique education system... Though it demands more of your commitment, I love it!!

Why do we tag?

2009-03-15T20:37:00.001+09:00

I am getting tags (answering few questions depending on which tag you are getting) from my other blog and also my Facebook. I always wonder. Who started this tag thingy? For what? For some reasons I do not know what, most of us were obligated to do that tag and although with guilt, we duly tag some other friends. That we includes me! Isn't that wierd?

I tried to guess why tag has been started in the first place:
1) The tag creator is trying to get information in detail about someone he/she likes
2) The tag creator is just busy body to shout to the world his/her info and likewise info about others
3) The tag creator wanted to promote his/her own blog as you have to go back to his/her blog for the questions
4) The tag creator is lonely and trying to make new friends of his/her existing friends.

To my surprise, when you are tagged, we tend to do it. Sometimes, I even feel like it is more like a homework which I have to submit. I mean, it is a MUST! Why? Why? Why? Could it be due to:
1) You just want to be cool, and not letting down the friend who tagged you
2) You like the questions and wanted the world to know those details of yourself
3) You are afraid your friend who tagged you would be punished or fined if you don't do it (Hahaha!)
4) You have no idea to write and answering a tag keep your posting going
5) You wanted to promote your blog

Anyway, I could google on tag history, but feel it is just not that worth it. So, guessing game in my part seems more interesting! :)

I have decided that I will do tag in blog only, and taking my sweet time to do it. Meaning, whenever I feel like doing it, then I do. As of in FB, I just want to ignore. Sorry people! (Again... the guilt! Why???).

Deadlines Phobia

2009-03-04T12:18:00.003+09:00

Ever since coming to Japan, I am always on extra careful mode when it comes to deadlines. Here, there is no second chance if you missed a deadline, even if you passed the deadline by 1 minute. They are very strict about meeting deadlines. Absolutely nonnegotiable. That is how disciplined and trustworthy the Japanese are. No appeal whatsoever will be entertained as well.

The worst part that I worry most is that, missing a deadline means BIG, HUGE trouble is awaiting and you may have to wait for another year to correct it. Tough isn't, it? Not to mention how many forms you have to fill in (almost all in Japanese) in order to apply for anything. So to redo the whole process when you miss a deadline is not a good idea at all!!

In a semester break now, I am free from any deadline for term paper submissions. All done! Yeahooooo... However, I am not free from other deadlines, which almost means life or death to me.

In March, I have so many deadlines in almost every week for my daughters' nursery entrance. Forms after forms have been filled and I have a lot more forms to fill in. For the private nursery, they also require medical check-up! And that also of course not free! Easily cost me few thousands yen.

The good news is the kids finally can go to the nursery. Alhamdulillah. The intake for nursery is in April every year, of which application is made in December the previous year. When my daughters arrived, it was in May last year. That means we have missed the intake (April) and absolutely the application. For that, we were unable to put them in any nursery either in public or private ones, regardless how many times we reapplied and appealed!! We struggled to divide time between school, work, kids. Rushing from school to home and home to work had basically been our routine. Time for ourselves is almost non existence. The kids also have to be contented within the four walls of our house only with very few friends to social with.

So this year, with the help of some Japanese friends to make application on time, we were so fortunate to get in Michiko (the elder one) to public nursery and Noriko (the younger one) to private one.

Just imagine how nervous I am to get all these done. I am now off to nearby clinic for Noriko's check up. An appointment with a neighbour to teach me how to fill in the forms in Japanese will be scheduled soon, as long as before the deadline next week.

Wish me luck, people!!

Nakimushi

2009-02-13T23:02:00.004+09:00

What? Japanese boys are cry babies too? I do know they shave their eye brows, carry feminine bags and do cheer dance too, but what? They cry? You mean in public?

Yes. Japanese blokes cry in public. I was not particularly noticed this by myself until one day my husband pointed out when he was watching the box. “Look, they cry again!”. “They win and they cry, they lose and they cry more!” Oh, wow! This is not only in public but ahaaa… in national television too. They basically not only weep, they really cry. Like a small boy who needs a hug by a mother. The changing room or the field may be flooded after game each time, I would imagine. I only see this kind of sobs on a boy’s face maybe up to 5 or 7 years old, in my country. After that, they will act as a macho man, as they like to call themselves.

Then I started to realize; this a unique culture of Japan. Comparing it to Malaysia’s males, they hardly cry. Or at least not in public. I know they cried when their loved ones leave them for another men, or any family members passed away. But one or two tear drops are all I could see. The rest they will try to hold it back by hugging someone to hide their tears. They probably let it all out when they are alone in a room. Observing the westerners too, be it on live show when watching Manchester United or watching it on Hollywood movies, no… no male cry babies.

My Japanese friend once said, it is called “Nakimushi” in Japanese. They cry because they have poured all their effort and spirit to the game. They play with all their hearts! Be it a win or a loss, it means so much after all those efforts. It is perfectly acceptable by the culture as this showed the players were striving their best to win the game. The game is part of their life and it is very very important.

I do understand now. Japanese is a very hard laboured nation. They will practically do anything to achieve something. This includes hard works and more and more hard works. They work tirelessly and ‘giving up’ is not an option. The word “gambare” is often heard which means to work hard and never give up in achieving something. Looking back, this is the main reason why I wanted to experience my life living in this country. I want to have and bring back some of this gambare aura so that it will shape myself and my family members’ characters in some way. So, taking a cry baby as a little side effect is perfectly OK, I suppose! :)

By the way, do they still cry in Akademi Fantasia?

Peace!

2009-02-07T19:56:00.008+09:00

http://www.monde-magouilles.com/photos_guerre/gaza3.jpg

I am now attending 1-week, 4 and half hours per day, intensive classes for International Negotiation. It is part of the MBA programme that I enrolled for 2 semesters now. The lecturer is an American who married a Japanese and has been living in Japan for 14 years.

I enjoyed a great deal in this class. We are taught the principles to negotiate especially in multicultural scenes. We are lucky too as 52 students of this class come from maybe close to 30 different countries.

In one of professor's example, he was quoting a negotiation between Israel and Egypt in their fight for a piece of land in Nile, which all the while owned by Egypt. With security as Israel's interest and keeping the land as for Egypt, they resorted to agree for the land remained as Egypt's possession with condition of no armed forces on that piece of land. This was achieved after 23 drafts of shared 1-text with an assistance of a mediator.

I personally did not like the example as it can be political or has religion inclination. In a multicultural class, we sure want to avoid to obvious the differences and have the lessons harmoniously, keeping our different opinions to ourselves.

Suddenly, a girl from Argentina raised her hand and asked:

Why should Egypt obey to a request by others in their own land? Would other country do so too?

The professor responded that it was the closest they can agree to satisfy both parties.

Hmmm...

Another guy from Netherlands offered an opinion:

In terrorism example, is it better not to retaliate, but offer a negotiation instead? Maybe by satisfying their interests, none will not have to be the terrorists.

He asked this after the professor suggested that one way to handle strong emotions from negotiation partner is to stay calm and not retaliate. Focus on the problem, and not the people.

But, guess what? Being an American, they just could not understand. The professor replied that the terrorists are not in negotiative term. I mean he assumed that the terrorists cannot tolerate and hence not negotiable.

I was so tempted to add that, if the terrorists are real Muslims as they assumed or accused, they should know that in our religion we must agree if the other party wants peace.

Argghhh...! So wrong conceptions, as usual, of course.

But as now an adult, I refused to say anything and just prayed that the topic was switched to another as soon as possible. In fear that I would be emotional and deterred the peace of the class, being quiet was a better choice I thought. There were at least 8 other Muslims in the class and none said anything too. It is too frustrating to understand that the rest of the world still believe dirty tricks played on Muslims, which the whole story was changed the other way round and the fight against the bullied are considered heroic!

On the other hand, I was delighted to know that other members of the class, who are non-Muslims and of course not coming from US have that kind of opinions. At least not everybody in this world are deaf or blinded by propagandas. At least they can comprehend that one should have their own right in their own land!! And that if achieved, will certainly means PEACE!

When The Day Comes..

2009-02-04T15:03:00.006+09:00

http://jeffrockers.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/kubur2.jpg

I received few smses from Malaysia since last week, updating about my uncle's critical condition. All I could do from far is to pray for ease of anything that is fated for him. If he is fated to live longer, make it easier for him to go through the critical times. Or if he is meant to see Him, let it be as painless and as easy as possible. That was my doa.

I learned that when the day comes for you to see The Creator, we can just not delay nor rush it. It will come just on time without any variation even in split second. That is how great the Power He has. Subhanallah!

I was told earlier that Ayah Chor, my uncle, was on life support for maybe about a week. Very early yesterday morning, the sms said that doctor will take out the life support any time. That was about 5.30 am Japan time. However, around 11.00 am I received the news of the lost, confirming 10.30 am was exactly the time he was gone. He passed away naturally, without the life support. See... even you want to let him go earlier, he will never go without His will.

So, what is the function of doctors? Their researches? Advanced technology in medical world?

I have heard an advice that you should never believe that a doctor is the one who cure your illness. He has no power. He just use his knowledge, skills and experience to help you find the remedy. You called it as ikhtiar, an effort to find remedy for an illness. But who cures it, none other than Allah Himself! This was rather difficult to digest at first. But slowly, life experiences let me see and understand so clearly.

Cause of death is really cause of death. It is an excuse so that you will not blame the Death Angle who is only carrying out his duty to take one's life. This is what I was taught since small. I believe it wholeheartedly.

So why bother with healthcare and medication then? Why do we afraid to do a lot of things, that might take our lives? Death will surely come when the day comes. The doctors are not there to stop any death. They never can. Especially those in Intensive Care Units, I bet they see deaths everyday, if not every hour or so.

The more I think about it, an answer surfaces like this:

Medication and healthcare are effort (ikhtiar) to help to ease patients pain who's time have not come yet. One has to be healthy enough to go through life peacefully, independently and happily.

At least that answer is suffice to me for now.

So, please. Please don't stop your researches, studies, experiments and the like in medical or healthcare. Please also don't stop taking good care of your health. Your body was born perfect and is lent to you so that you take a very good care of it sincerely. It is really an amanah for you to uphold.

I pray for the best of health for everyone, and may we live and die in His redha. Amin.

Welcome & Petai

2009-02-03T03:32:00.004+09:00

Salam and greetings to all...

Welcome to my humble newly created English blog. It is my first attempt to express my thoughts in English after 5 years of blogging in full Malay.

Some said that I am a type of person who live in my own world. Whether I am a dreamer, having an abstract mind or simply disconnected from reality, I am not certain. Yes, I do have my own moments in deep thinking of some matters. At times, it is just too deep into my own world. For that, I don't expect people to fully understand me, either.

Our background and upbringing have somehow shape our perception on life. Spent most of my childhood in Tanjung Malim; a village in a border of two states of Malaysia, which I believe is (soon) becoming a suburb, I would like to share what or how I perceive the world, life and its living from my *petai-like eyes. No matter how lame it is, I still hope you would enjoy it anyway.

So, stay tune! :)

*****

*Petai

Anyway, petai is my favourite ulam (salad). It has kind of bitter sweet creamy taste. You can eat it raw, usually with sambal (homemade spicy sauce) or you can cook it in a number of Malay recipes. If you eat it too much, your urine will stink as well as you may pass wind more often! Haha.

Nenek (grandma) said that my eyes are as big as petai bean. Since she saw and nurtured me since I was born, I think she must be right. Love and miss you much, Nenek! :)